‘difficult only means you have to work hard’


motivation.. self efficacy.. self concept..
why am i doing what i am doing? why do i keep looking back at.. me?

first time missing exchange aft being back. the silence and simplicity, the weather, the lack of responsibility and expectations, meeting new people but only for a moment – fleeting but so genuine. bye bye boston 😦

why does this tiredness come so suddenly
am i really self aware at all?
why does it matter how others see me
if i say i am a servant of the Lord?
why do i forget lessons so easily
and why don’t my questions have answers
why have You called me to this
when only You know all things, from start to end?
how long before this all ends

maybe i can’t do this.. but maybe i can?

this weekend was so enjoyable, so sad that work starts again tmr….. love my job but am just a nua sai…. T_TTT dREADED tech/ casting and rly thought i was gonna DIE during class lol but finally met welly again + ended early and didnt have to rush to church *\^^/* also reunited w reubs n gordon, don’t know how we r still friends but actually v grateful leh i nv expected to stay in contact w/ anyone outside of softball.. God works in funny ways. n today was GR8!! went for dim sum and coffee with mum n decided to go for a massage and get aftn beers HURHUR plus it rained n the weather was nice enough for us to sit outdoors n even managed to nap before meeting dad for dinner yay 😀 what a nice day full of food and fat, just like in boston just +1000000 more people and buildings everywhere~ BUT ok back to work tmr which iz also the halfway point of placement. feeling a stronger sense of urgency n each day becomes even more precious.. hAIZ wish placement was longer…. but have to rmbr- clients before learning. am sitting much better with uncertainty which is something to celebrateeeeee? cant wait to start work for real leh

beneath the waters

sometimes people just want to be heard. to know that they are still worthy of dignity, respect, and love. what do these big words mean? more than money, sometimes. and iz q amazing how these can be conveyed in mere minutes

some days make me sosososososo tired but maybe im just falling sick like the rest of the office lol

holding it up

this week was tiRING……. but reminded of His sovereignty and well rested in the Lord. how nice 2 spend a few hours in worship, with others who yearn for Him as well 🙂 joy comes from Him alone. 

those days are the reason why it is so important to know why i am doing what i do…. when u feel helpless and when self efficacy iS…. haharrr missing. the road seems so long but wanting to get to the end doesnt stop me from getting distracted.. should be working so much harder- owe it to my clients and to the Lord. praying that i will be faithful in the remaining weeks and months to come…..

sad to accept that i am far too quick to judge……. but after awareness comes action for change. 不能再那么懒散了!!must not expect from clients what i dare not even expect from myself right???????? hello discipline!! the smallest things matter, like a seemingly harmless complaint or whining about your situation. // held it in during session but felt like i was cutting my heart out and shoving it to the client.. literally ‘my heart goes out to you’ dong ma?? wish i could tell him how much i respect him and his resilience. but empathy isn’t internalizing another’s feelings and emotions