i want to sit at Your feet
drink from the cup in Your hand
lay back against You and breathe, feel Your heartbeat
this love is so deep, it’s more than i can stand
i melt in Your peace, it’s overwhelming
-from deep down inside
striving and all aside, it’s all that really matters in the end. bye bye to overcommitting.
Under conditions of low stress, parents with unresolved states of mind with respect to attachment might function tolerably well. However, the stress of relationships in which attachment related issues loom large often cause the defences to break down, leaving the parent feeling overwhelmed by old unresolved feelings of fear, abandonment and powerlessness. The parent’s experience is that whenever they find themselves in situations in which attachment-related issues are taking place (anxiety, need, dependence, loss, abandonment, vulnerability, behavioural breakdown, aggression), anxiety rapidly escalates. The mental processing of such attachment-relevant information disorganizes the parent and seriously dysregulates his or her care-giving (George et al., 1999, pp. 328-9). At the very moment at which children need their carer to understand, protect and emotion ally regulate them, the parent is emotionally unavailable and least sensitive. In extreme cases, parents feel out of control as their child’s attachment needs spi ral. Being out of control can lead to either hostile or helpless care-giving, or switches between the two. Hostile care-giving can spill over to physical abuse and psychological maltreatment. Helpless, depressed care-giving can result in neglect and emotional abandonment (Main and Hesse, 1990; Lyons-Ruth et al., 1999; Howe, 2005).