more than just words

to God – ‘Thank you for always reminding me that sometimes you are the only one I can trust, you are the only I can talk to and you are the only one who is truly listening.

Thank you for all these blessings that I take for granted on a daily basis.

Thank you for always being in my heart and embracing me in my lonely nights.

Thank you for sending me all these warning signs through your messengers who were disguised as people or books or just gut feelings.

Thank you for giving me the strength I needed to endure pain and be comfortable with my loneliness.

Thank you for being patient with me when I can’t even be patient with myself.

Thank you for whispering into my soul when I almost felt dead inside.’

Excerpts from TC

finding it unusually hard to concentrate in recent days. is pushing a thought away for later considered avoidance? not that i would be able to avoid anything for long even if i wanted to, considering the nature of SW zzz. new HK drama just released on demand…. perfect avoidance tool!!!! lel. when does omission of truth become a lie? does it ever? does it matter what i believe if the rest of the world thinks otherwise? because i think most people don’t see omission of truth (especially if it’s ‘for the good of the person’ – in their opinion lol) = lying. how would we ever know if the truth would be better for the person or not? but o well i’ve been guilty of this too. life is hard and telling the truth is hard. hmm. some days i find myself wanting to stop all human interaction. and then wonder why i’m in a helping profession LOL. actually i don’t really wonder why. the professional self is separate from the private self. right?????? or is it supposed to be integrated? am i being extreme and irrational? z z ZZzzzZZZZ  hate realising my own irrational beliefs because then there will be a reason for change and AMBIVALENCE IS REAL k bye i hate everyone no actually i dont hahahahahalol bye.


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