shema

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One of the best work weeks so far, so it is worth documenting in more detail- going in with readjusted expectations and learning goals, and pockets of meaningful conversation in between. monday was sad since i was drowning in my inadequacies and being all “what’s the point of doing well on paper when in reality u r a piece of sai” lel, but went to dance (stress free) on tues!! how rare to be able to do this hurhur and it what a timely reminder that.. moments of vulnerability and weaknesses are ok, and so are the messy in-betweens.

attempted to stargaze with D on weds and it was erm q eventful… but i rmb asking her why and HOW she was so calm despite the cockroaches and huge RAT and she said smth like ‘God protects His beloved’ – actually i don’t think she said this but meaning same lah, and it stuck with me for the rest of the week. and also we saw q alot of stars!! God was q kind, & am q grateful for this unexpected friendship 🙂

thurs was an eventful work day!! first time being out of the centre for most of the day LOL and friday was even better BAHAHAWeEEeEEeW~ our sups were on course so JM and i found a temporary momma whom we learnt so much from!! ‘sometimes just touching base is all that’s needed at this point of time, esp when client is not rdy’ -> which helped me come to terms with/ accept a particular situation.. and was also reminded of BPS+S which got lost + neglected in the past few weeks – kinda put things into perspective esp wrt swk’s role in our team. ^^ & then caught up with SW for awhile over dinz 🙂 & THEN!! went for comm walk which i was damn excited for but alaaaas…… apparently we started too early so there wasn’t much ‘action’ 😥 but erm bonding with sups?? ~lol~ but rly q grateful for this space/ time since there isn’t any in the centre and well u kno im an awkward ball of nerves in a tiny place full of ppl zzz. and then spent the weekend mostly in the hospital, which always causes mixed feelings because it’s a reason for the extended family to meet for such long hours, but u kno hospital is never a good sign LOL. BUT!! God was so good n this is a story for another day….

at this point, despite allllll my uncertainties and fears, i cannot see myself in an alternate profession. putting aside the whole grading thing + assignment + how my CAP may be affected and how i may seem like a lousy swk to be, makes learning how to be a swk in this specific environment faaaaar less torturous. but it is still something i have to consciously put aside………….. almost everyday lellll it doesn’t help that i am so task oriented when it comes to stuff related to sch….

so grateful for that moment in kalimantan 🙂

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