am honestly dying a little thinking of leaving, not like i’m leaving for a super long time but there is so much to worry about and the almost certain instability at home in the next few months. drowning in guilt knowing about all the money i am spending on this for the sake of what? when it could have been used on so much more. and all the times at home that are important but i wont be around. the biggest uncertainty is whether or not God wants me there.. there is so much discomfort but what am i to say? ‘nope, not going anymore- just felt a prompting from God’. but there must be a reason why things worked out this way. regardless of how i am feeling. right? wrong? the Lord only knows.

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