whatever is done without heart is done in the dark

Excerpts from the prayer of a minor prophet:

‘My God, i shall not waste time deploring my weakness nor my unfittedness for the work. The responsibility is not mine, but Thine. Thou hast said, “I knew thee- I ordained thee- I sanctified thee,” and Thou hast also said, “Thou shalt go to all that I shall send thee, and whatsoever I command thee thou shalt speak.” Who am I to argue with Thee or to call into question Thy sovereign choice? The decision is not mine but Thine. So be it, Lord. Thy will, not mine, be done.

It is time, O God, for Thee to work, for the Enemy has entered into Thy pastures and the sheep are torn and scattered. And false shepherds abound who deny the danger and laugh at the perils which surround Thy flock. The sheep are deceived by these hirelings and follow them with touching loyalty while the wolf closes in to kill and destroy. I beseech Thee, give me sharp eyes to detect the presence of the Enemy; give me understanding to see and courage to report what I see faithfully. Make my voice so like Thine own that even the sick sheep will recognise it and follow Thee.

Save me from bondage of things. Let me not waste my days puttering around the house. Lay Thy terror upon me, O God, and drive me to the place of prayer where I may wrestle with principalities and powers and the rulers of the darkness of this world. Deliver me from overeating and late sleeping. Teach me self-discipline that I may be a good soldier of Jesus Christ.

I accept hard work and small rewards in this life. I ask for no easy place. I shall try to be blind to the little ways that could make life easier. If others seek the smoother path, I shall try to take the hard way without judging them too harshly. I should expect opposition and try to take it quietly when it comes. Or if, as sometimes it falleth out to Thy servants, I should have grateful gifts pressed upon me by Thy kindly people, stand by me then snd save me from the blight that often follows. Teach me to use whatever I receive in such manner that will not injure my soul or diminish my spiritual power. and if in Thy permissive providence honor should come to me from Thy church, let me not forget in that hour that I am unworthy of the least of Thy mercies, and that if men knew me as intimately as I know myself, they would withhold their honors or bestow them upon others more worthy to receive them.

And now, O Lord of heaven and earth, i consecrate my remaining days to Thee; let them be many or few, as Thou wilt. Let me stand before the great or minister to the poor and lowly; that choice is not mine, and I would not influence it if I could. I am Thy servant to do Thy will, and that will is sweeter to me than position or riches or fame and I choose it above all things on earth or in heaven.’

Advertisements

gezellig

inspired1!!! reminded of the many many many many hrs of work behind a successful act, from conception to practice to perfection.. the failures n self-scrutiny that can sometimes be crippling. the number of people involved- some you do not see, yet each doing their part.. to the smallest detail, just to create a particular experience for the audience…….. does it matter how brightly the light shines and what color it is? at what particular moment the music comes in? why does the music have to change? why does the prop have to be placed at THAT spot? the audience wouldn’t know otherwise, yet it matters deeply to the crafters. it’s so obvious when both heart and head has been put into a show. sosososososo much respect. and after all that work, learning to let a liiiiittle of that control go, to leave space for the magic to happen in collaboration with the audience, n flow with it. jacob collier u have taught me lots today 🙂 that was rly quite the magical experience.

really respect leh. have a lot of respect for a lot of people LOL and have recently been feeling very grateful for every encounter/ talk no matter the duration. there is so much to learn lah i hope i remember to always put in the real work for the things that matter to me. RESPECTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

truth

“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” -‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭4:12-13‬ ‭NIV‬

speaks for itself

For I am the Lord your God
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.
Do not be afraid, you worm Jacob,
little Israel, do not fear,
for I myself will help you,” declares the Lord,
your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.
“See, I will make you into a threshing sledge,
new and sharp, with many teeth.
You will thresh the mountains and crush them,
and reduce the hills to chaff.
You will winnow them, the wind will pick them up,
and a gale will blow them away.
But you will rejoice in the Lord
and glory in the Holy One of Israel
“The poor and needy search for water,
but there is none;
their tongues are parched with thirst.
But I the Lord will answer them;
I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.

– Isaiah 41:13-17 (NIV)

pain can be hard to bear. Lord, You never let go

chanced upon this again 🙂

“It can be easy to romanticize a passion or a social cause or a marriage or raising kids with tons of posed pictures and flowery words – but all such things are gritty, raw, rough, and painstakingly sculpted from our fully invested hearts. There is a lot of standing around and sweating through our shirts and seasons of self-doubt and all the frustrated parts that no one else can see. We fall in love with highlights but these were formed in the valley. Please don’t be seduced by soundbites and filtered photos and bowtie daydreams. Real joy actually hurts, but that’s why it’s real. It was carved from the best of us.” – J.S.

taste and see

embarrassment and unsolicited tears aside.. grateful. funny lessons about fellowship and vulnerability in this season – feels a little like learning to be human? starting to really see beauty in the broken, and His hand in our very gross fallen selves.. we learn to be patient with others by experiencing God’s patience and lovingkindness towards us. thank You for teaching me to be more tender hearted

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”

– ‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3:11‬ ‭NIV‬‬