sad to accept that i am far too quick to judge……. but after awareness comes action for change. 不能再那么懒散了!!must not expect from clients what i dare not even expect from myself right???????? hello discipline!! the smallest things matter, like a seemingly harmless complaint or whining about your situation. // held it in during session but felt like i was cutting my heart out and shoving it to the client.. literally ‘my heart goes out to you’ dong ma?? wish i could tell him how much i respect him and his resilience. but empathy isn’t internalizing another’s feelings and emotions

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‘i was thinking about how hurt i was, and i didn’t even for a minute stop to think- she was hurting too’

hais humans are so complicated

log: Friday

Today was a tiring day. I woke up late (again), and went to school feeling bloated and gross and with half my soul still lost idk where. Met a nice taxi uncle who made the morning better with “wah so many people want to hijack your taxi” and “ok thanks ah girl have a nice day”. Became quite affected over what we learnt about during lecture and realised that this is one area I probably really do not want to go into. Walked past the DE booth otw to the next lecture and saw Joyce’s sunflower which felt like *\^^/* (thks joyceeeee :*). Then went for another lecture but not sure if I caught anything apart from lecturer’s stories. Was so drained (lel weak as hell) I borrowed Hannah’s car so I could drive home for an hour long nap before duty @ the booth. Tried the soy espresso frappe which was nice. Energy spent socializing and trying to sell the leftover bears. Then went for an unproductive project meeting… What made me think completing a 4k paper in 3 days was gg to be easy I don’t even know…… S/U? Moment of panic with groupmates before leaving. Walked to YIH. Was annoyed. More energy spent talking on the bus to Clementi. Hate travelling to Clementi at 6/7+……….. the roads are always so crowded. Had a moment of peace in Westgate’s toilet before spending more energy talking on another bus ride……. which was long. Then went for cell and today we spent it fellowshipping….. Yay. Spent more energy socializing. Thank God for the invention of games that save us the trouble of having to talk about something else. More energy talking during the car ride……. Then finally home n alone….. More energy spent on my phone. And being angry. Decided I should start on the project because I won’t do it tomorrow. Got distracted and cooked fried rice instead. And now I am sitting in the living room documenting this day. This was quite therapeutic. Maybe it’s the sound of the ceiling fan. On n on n on…… but going nowhere. Thinking of the long day later on and I think something on the inside of me just died. I’m being dramatic.

I’m tired.

But thankful for the tiny breaks and unexpected surprises in between.