choose joy

What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men. That is what love looks like.

-Augustine of Hippo

open my eyes


to the ends of the earth

Reminded again of a vision I got like… 7 years ago (w0ws am really getting old). Never really took that seriously because it seemed so crazy & extreme, until last year when He reminded me of this same vision I had long forgotten. And today, again.

Heart has been buried on the mission fields, and I cannot think of anything my soul would want more than just to be back again. To be surrounded by others seeking to know and serve and love, and to learn each day how to fully depend on the Lord. Everyday, to see a completely new dimension of the Lord and for prior understandings to be broken down time and again. He cannot be boxed.

But now isn’t the time, and there is much to resolve.
May the lessons and memories from the past two trips remind me always of where my heart is.
i would

joined by a common heart’s cry

Have only known most of the Vietnam team for ~a year, but gatherings are always a safe space for vulnerability, filled with heartfelt conversations and love for one another, for others, and for God. How precious to have this group of people to do life with – to laugh, cry, serve, and pray with, where walls are broken down and support is found. & maybe 40 years later, we’ll be playing Bingo as retirees 🙂

Should get this down before I forget – lower delta visitation today left me burdened and quite heavy hearted. Didn’t really see the value in it the first time I went, but sort of do now. Perhaps what we need isn’t a remedy, or for one to pull us out of the pits, but for one to sit with us and journey together. I hope I never forget, even in future when I may have become a more seasoned practitioner, that it is always, always a privilege when others decide to reveal even a glimpse of themselves and their story.

Supposed to spend the night packing my room + emptying the wardrobe but ended up watching tv…. LEL

So half of Jan has already passed and 2016 has been: quite the same, with nightly binges and TV, but also different – new perspectives and new focus. becoming more serious about reading the Bible, being pushed to face myself, and being forced to think during dance.

stay grounded.


honest hour

Only the 10th day of the year but erm think my tear ducts are spoilt or something. Ok lel EHS – dominant emotions/ feelings have been fear, doubt, worry, dread, n ya other bad emotions. But am actually quite excited for school!!! except there is so much to worry about. and after awhile i feel stupid bcos all these ‘problems’ seem so lame and unnecessary and just so ugh stupid, i mean like i have lived 20 yrs of my life fine without all this so why now and why is it necessary????? so yes. but asking ‘why’ just makes the entire process even more painful. but it is getting better

ya i tried to be honest lel

i have never walked on water, felt the waves beneath my feet but
at Your word, Lord, i’ll receive Your faith to walk on oceans deep

When I see the beauty of a sunset’s glory,
Amazing artistry across the evening sky
When I feel the mystery of a distant galaxy
It awes and humbles me to be loved
By a God so high

What can I do but thank You,
What can I do but give my life to You
Hallelujah, hallelujah
What can I do but praise You,
Everyday make everything I do a hallelujah
A hallelujah, hallelujah

When I hear the story of a God of mercy
Who shared humanity and suffered by our side
Of the cross they nailed You to, that could not hold You
Now You’re making all things new by the power
Of Your risen life

Oops lyrics of the entire song because i love it!! Second mission trip this year (& of my life actually) & am more excited than ever aft the services tday!! With each trip, i see all the more how thoroughly wretched i am, but even more how amazing God’s grace is. Im excited!!!! Please pray for us. Ok bye.


in the midst of all these village trips i forgot i had responsibilities and an ‘everyday life’ LOL ahhhh back to sg for a day = work work n WORK but oK just gotta clear it all wheeeee can’t wait to dive!!! im thankful!!!

but noise and madness aside,
realised during the trip that the past 2-3 years have seen me through so much change and growth, and for the first time i think i’m really starting to like the person i’m becoming/ have been becoming. and God’s hand in all this always seems so much more obvious in retrospect.. 🙂


finally went for my first trip!!!
praying/ serving/ fighting/ worshipping alongside them has been such a humbling & rewarding experience, rly couldn’t have asked for a better team ahhh thank You God 🙂

went for this mission trip wanting to serve & love, but God showed His love and providence and mercy and grace even more abundantly & so so amazed at how everything turned out!!!!

learnt in laos that sincerity transcends language barriers,
reminded again in indo that communication between people go beyond mere words and souls can rly connect.

no one knew what this song was about but the whole team was so moved by it??
aaaand after looking at the english translation it’s rly no wonder.. :’)

Betapa kumencintai
How I love
Segala yang t’lah terjadi
All that has happened
Tak pernah sendiri jalani hidup ini
I have never been alone in this walk of life
Selalu menyertai
But always protected

Betapa kumenyadari
How I realised
Di dalam hidupku ini
In my life
Kau slalu memberi rancangan terbaik
You have a wonderful plan
Oleh karena kasih
Because of love

Bapa, sentuh hatiku, ubah hidupku
Father, touch my heart, change my life
Menjadi yang baru
To be anew
Bagai emas yang murni
Just like pure gold
Kau membentuk bejana hatiku
You have shaped my heart

Bapa, ajarku mengerti sebuah kasih
Father, teach me to understand a kind of love
Yang selalu memberi
That always gives
Bagai air mengalir
Let it be like a flowing stream of water
Yang tiada pernah berhenti
That never ends

with 4 days burnt traveling and only 3 days of ministry one may deem this unproductive,
but what is time to the Father? and it only opened our eyes to how these people, in a remote village in west kalimantan, unconnected to the rest of the world.. are so very precious in His eyes.
the first of many more, which made everything so much clearer.

filled to overflow.. :’)