false humility

‘just another form of self-centeredness, which the enemy has a right to exploit’

let me say yes, thank God, and have complete confidence in You and You alone.

remembering some conversations on exchange.. it is odd, the impact a passing stranger can have on you. how one can show such kindness and love to another within moments of meeting them.. to imagine that this is only a tiny tiny tiny fraction of the Lord’s love for us..



faith makes a fool of what makes sense
still my heart, let Your voice be all i hear now
help me to obey

today n yesterday left my mind overwhelmed. by conversations and thoughts and questions deemed by mE too difficult to even attempt to think about they all came up again. this time too compelling to ignore and also weirdly i choose not to ignore. heart overflowing- with gratitude, excitement.. a subtle joy? lol does that even exist.. but also burdened and heavy with worry slowly creeping in. everything is noisy and messy but not in a bad way. pulled in so many different directions. trying to make sense of it all. Lord help me to stay faithful, do not let this burst of excitement draw me away from Your voice. hais God works in such funny ways n i am left with no words

You don’t give Your heart in pieces

grateful for this body and how the Father has made for it to be possible to move in so many maAAD ways

“Love may forgive all infirmities and love still in spite of them: but Love cannot cease to will their removal.”
― C.S. Lewis


stepping back into a place of quiet and rest,

it’s timeeeeeee,

about time actually.

it’s been 10 months since. thank You Jesus for Your lovingkindness and patience. You have been so, so kind to me. may my life from this day reflect this.

there are days i whine and rant like a child, wondering why God has called me to this, refusing to let myself free fall into His love and refusing to accept that He really does have it planned, from start to end. the journey inward has been tiring, explaining why this is even necessary to others who think they are listening, even more so. knowing something cognitively doesn’t mean acceptance, or that feelings automatically disappear. learning to sit with discomfort and feelings i dislike. thank God for a supervisor who exemplifies tough love and allows for vulnerability, for seminar classmates who understand and encourage. tired but grateful, and a looooong way to go

holding it up

this week was tiRING……. but reminded of His sovereignty and well rested in the Lord. how nice 2 spend a few hours in worship, with others who yearn for Him as well 🙂 joy comes from Him alone. 

those days are the reason why it is so important to know why i am doing what i do…. when u feel helpless and when self efficacy iS…. haharrr missing. the road seems so long but wanting to get to the end doesnt stop me from getting distracted.. should be working so much harder- owe it to my clients and to the Lord. praying that i will be faithful in the remaining weeks and months to come…..

sad to accept that i am far too quick to judge……. but after awareness comes action for change. 不能再那么懒散了!!must not expect from clients what i dare not even expect from myself right???????? hello discipline!! the smallest things matter, like a seemingly harmless complaint or whining about your situation. // held it in during session but felt like i was cutting my heart out and shoving it to the client.. literally ‘my heart goes out to you’ dong ma?? wish i could tell him how much i respect him and his resilience. but empathy isn’t internalizing another’s feelings and emotions