so much to read and learn and inhale…. so little time. shd really stop coming home early comfort is the enemy!!…. RESOLVED this semester to be faithful in the little hahaaaaaaa, Lord help me. little steps r steps too šŸ™‚

‘6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.’ phil 1:6



stopping in the middle of nowhr to take a gazillion photos but i doooo miss these moments

miles and miles of nothing

coffee stop in sacramento šŸ˜€

survived the scary drive up!! n it actually wasnt as scary as i imagined it to be lol ptsd from that mountain in australia..

appreciate traveling with these two tons more after spring break…….

n stargazing haizzzz

n we r HERE!!!!

this was where hannah slipped and fell on her butt HAHAHAHA. also where we almost drove down lol

trees from afar

wallpaperĀ shots that everyone takes but it was rly quite nice

the huge sequioa trees were my favourite doesnt this look magical :'((((((

still one of my favourite days :’) only wish we stayed for longer


haiz let me stay here forever

sigh doesnt this whole thing look perfect………………

this was one of our best stops foR SUREEE and we prayed soooooo hard for good weather and safety and u know stuff like that. and we even saw a rainbow!! šŸ˜€ only wish we were there for longer and in spring or fall or something so we could camp/ hike there hAIZ. if ever i go back (which will be like idk 1000 years later or smth)….. better not say so soon. wish i could relive those moments u kno looking up at those trees and sitting by the river n feeling like i could disappear for awhile in this huge huge world. thank God for snapchat videos!!!!!! this is making me sad i likedĀ this place alot bye


Last night we surprise skyped these peopleĀ and sat through tech class, and it made me so so so happy šŸ™‚Ā didn’t realise that i missed de and these people so much, and i am so grateful we met la omg through all the rage and tears and madness together :’) looking at these screenshots make me smile everytime ahahah LOLĀ @ our joy/ shock while watching tech HAHAHAH damn drama i can’t….. but also can’t wait to be back and dancing tgt for tnw again altho will probably suck aft so many mths of not dancing… šŸ™‚


the days don’t ever seem to end….. T_T

comm mapping on tues + MeetingĀ JM and one of the elders from our fruit packing tday made me realise that i actually quite miss placement and spending time with elders. erm wish i was less awkward about going back to visit… also talked about how one thing we took away from placement was that there is always something that can be done. if formal services don’t work out, there are informal resources, or appeals, or advocacy. gaps in the system should push us to action, not acceptance.

sent welly off last night and rly laughed till our stomachs hurt. moments like these r so rare and precious now, will miss her awkwardness and genuineness šŸ˜„

also worked with one of my favourite colleagues (not like i know everyone very well lah) last night. haven’t gotten paid but honestly don’t even mind (yet).

thought about all these while in the toilet before NHS VT today, am tired but happy, and grateful that it is the Lord that is in control of this life šŸ™‚

/wheee thurs was another gr8 day except for the fact that i couldnt get my grey hair zzz but met n talked to a v inspiring social worker.. reminded time and again abt the importance of comm work. so grateful that from time to time, we meet workers that have so much conviction in what they do and are so willing to share them with n00blets like us. *.* i think.. there are too many people that i look up to in life HAHAH

don’t know how, but really lucked out to have found a group of people so committed and loyal. so happy and grateful to be sharing the stage with these people, and to be bearing each other’s burdens despite being in different items. and to be inspired by the crazy humans that continue dancing despite work n injuries n still kill every show.. would rly dance with DE forever with these people šŸ™‚

on another note,
my face always looks the ugliest the day after theatre week bcos i get so used to seeing how it looks like with makeup… if only it was easier to put on and remove šŸ˜„

learning, leaning

CRAY CRAY WKĀ n went a little mad with fieldtrip, nhs, rehs, vetting, work, lit review n sch alLLlLlL in one week, and with self doubt +Ā weariness creeping in. thought i was gonna die but it was really His grace and providence that got me through. even felt some inexplicable joy during some of the most tiring moments which is seRIOUSLY ODD for me especially… so i am really grateful n came out with some lessons learnt šŸ™‚

read this last week that left a few timely reminders:

Before I climb out of bed and let my feet hit the floor, confess my sins and my weaknesses and mentally lean on him. Carry me, Lord, so I can accomplish YourĀ goals.

Before I gaze into a mirror or look at a screen or to a single thing of this world, pray that he will show me his glory and goodnessĀ today. That I will see it. And that I will reflect it.

As the world and the day get louder and louder, remember to stop and listen for the Spirit over the noise. Learn to recognize him.

When I find myself growing weary, run to my God any way I possibly can. Not to the world or to myself, but to him. Whether I read his words, worship him, pour out my heart to him, or ask his Spirit to pray on my behalf because I just canā€™t. And then repeat over and over again, until my mind effortlessly wanders to him.


don’t post much abt food places but had lunch at the lokal today to celebr8 and food was gr999!?!!? they do their own butter, smoked salmon, yogurt and some other stuff i didn’t try but hooomai it was rly worth it yum yUMM almost finished the huge blob of butter and the scrambled eggs WOWWW so creamy and yummy TEEHEE and staff were nice too so will be back for more MORE MORE!!! yummmmmm

Also really thankful i’m doingĀ NHS comm even though it’sĀ erm very time consuming and crazy exhausting. so grateful we had volunteers who were genuine in their efforts.. but were faced w/ many rejections and abit of an expectation gap since we weren’t really serving the most needy….. but it was rly worth it in the end, discoveringĀ residents who weren’t known to the doctors/ medical services, and some who needed urgent social assistance. these were only <15 individuals out of the hundreds screened, but each life so precious and worth all the effort and time.Ā so happy wheeee and thankful for a gr8 comm that works so well together and stays calm in last minute wrecks cos i turn into a wreck at those times lellllll wheeee say until NHS is over but actually only TJ screening is over and we have to do TJ follow up + MT vol trng and screening and follow up……………… ha HA but im excited!!!! šŸ˜€

happy happy monday being (or feeling) productive, dancing with 0 stress and meeting pg to send joy off šŸ™‚ fear’s still there but so nice discovering how our bodies can moOoOve~ it’s so weird that i feel this happy and excited (and young), and even weirder that i can’t remember the last time i felt this way. such a sad realisation that i have been THE grinch the past few weeks….. months???? im exaggerating.


met some rly nice n cool people during this trip, and many firsts!! like trekking in slippers, jumping n sliding down waterfalls, swimming in a lagoooon huhu, TOUCHING A CAT (actually the cat touched me lol but), climbing a mountain! in the dark…. hopefully nvr have to do that again, sleeping in public places and vERY AWKWARD massages. so thankful to God for protection throughout,Ā and for all the little blessings along the way šŸ™‚


off the mountain

the me today feelsĀ like a completely different person from the me a few weeks ago, and today i am grateful. spent much time worrying, stressing out, complaining and being just very negative, but thank God, thank God for bringing me through. In these 10 weeks I learnt patience and acceptance. I learnt that our judgments of others are never accurate – there is always another layer waiting to be peeled. I learnt about myself, about the things i can and cannot accept, about whatĀ gets to me and what makes my soul feel alive. I learnt to reflect, and not react. I learnt that a multi-disciplinary team sounds nice and ideal, but in reality, a good team with passionate individuals from different professional backgrounds = heated discussions, dilemmas, tension, and frustration (but i still believe they areĀ useful and needed). I learnt to be grounded, and learnt that it is not only the ‘doing’ that is meaningful. I learnt to be thick skinned, and not to take rejection personally. I learnt that people will always ask what social work is about and what i am doing, but at this moment i still cannot and am unwilling to give an answer that will help another understand. I learnt to depend on God at work, learnt to place what really matters to me in His hands, and learnt to seek only His approval. I learnt about death, acceptance, illness.. and about the strength of the human spirit. I learnt the importance of processing and looking inward constantly and intentionally, and learnt that the journey of becoming and discovering has to be done alone sometimes. I learnt that there are no right answers and no right methods, and the ability to accept uncertainty and imperfection will help in this journey. I think this setting was confusing for a student still learning about the profession, but this also made it even more important to hold onto social work values and ethics. And atĀ the end of the day, it doesnt matter if you are accepted or liked, respected or remembered. It is worth it when you see increased quality of life in another, and worth it when you see change in another. but as we all know, life is messy and change is both hard and slow. even if these all do not happen, it is still worth it. like this thing sw shared:

you will see people at their worst
and their best
you will never cease to be amazed
at peopleā€™s capacity for
love, courage, and endurance
you will see life begin

and it is these small momentsĀ that make the journey.

my sup said today that “things can be different because of us”, and i think it is true. although i have also learnt that we are limited and can only do so little, i do believe we can do something.

andĀ there is no shame in vulnerability,
no shame in failure and in making mistakes
there is no shame in being content, in being ok with who you are and where you are at this moment
there is no shame in feelingĀ ‘not there yet’, or lost, or discouraged, or alone

‘and miles to go before i sleep’